Love is Loss
by Forever.A.Typo
Summary: Three years after the tween choice awards and three years after she has left us. She left us to begin a music career. I believe she'd became tired of me. It's been too long. Too long since I've seen her. And now she's back.


**Love is Loss**

**Chapter 1. Happy for nothing (Introduction)  
**

When you love, you lose. I've always known this, but I never experienced it until her. Her dark brown hair and bright smile, her beautiful eyes and thin figure. It's been too long. Too long since I've seen her. When she left, I took her place. Mackenzie falls came to a heartbreaking end where Mackenzie dies off and Chloe takes over the falls, and Portyln appears again for the last episode only to disappear in a mysterious ballooning accident. The once famous Chad Dylan Cooper is now a sorry lowlife loser living in the funny hut. For her. Everything I did after she left was for her. I just hope she's seen it.

The randoms were sitting in the Prop house along with me. A week ago Marshall told us she would be coming back. I was excited, but insanely nervous. Has she been watching _So Random! _since she's been gone? Has she seen what I've done for her? Has she even forgiven me?

Probably not.

The randoms were rambling on and on about how happy they were and how great it would be to see her again. Not only did I take her place in hopes that she would forgive me, but I also haven't had another girlfriend; or my eyes on another girl, since those last Tween Choice Awards. It's been three years. It's been too long.

I remember when I met her: her pink fat suit and crazy brown wig, and a tray of frozen yogurt for The Randoms. It makes me think about why Tawni gave _me _grief about her when _she _didn't like her much either. I remember her in her red prom dress and then her mermaid dress. That night was a disaster but in the end it turned out great. I remember her singing and I remember her smile. I remember her in those skinny jeans, and I remember her in Glendovia and I remember her on "Gotcha with Gilroy Smith". I remember her bawking at me and calling me a chicken.

She always was a comedian.

"I can't wait to see what she looks like now!" Tawni exclaims.

"I wonder if she has any good comedy ideas…" Grady wonders.

"Maybe she's made some sort of CD or something…" Nico says. She has. She has made a CD. I have it. I bought it. I listen to it all the time. She has an amazing musical talent. She's a real rock star. She's a real inspiration.

"She's famous for crying out loud! I wonder if she has any rare autographs!" Zora shouts. I sit in a chair on the far side of the room and everyone else was standing. Marshall paces back and forth rubbing his bald head with his clammy hands. I've been silent the entire time we've been in here, and I glance at the doors often. The Tween Choice Award from those years ago sits proudly on a bookshelf in the corner. Too many memories. Too many bad memories. And it's been too long.

"Chad, aren't you excited?" Tawni basically screams in my ear. I nod my head, too nervous to speak.

"Well, you don't seem it." She says.

"Just nervous." It's hardly a whisper, but I manage it. I glance back up at the door. When will she be here? What's taking so long? Has she been thinking about me as much as I've been thinking about her? Probably not.

I haven't slept properly since we got the news, which was over a week ago. The last time I looked at my reflection I had deep blue bags under my eyes and my hair was a wrinkled mess. But I didn't care. I didn't care about myself anymore. Not since she left.

"Are you alright, Chad?" Tawni asks. It's unlike her to ask this, but when it comes to _her _she knows that I'm sensitive with that subject.

I nod my head.

After the randoms tire themselves out and run out of conversation, Tawni scurries off back to her dressing room, Nico and Grady head to the commissary for some celebratory frozen yogurt, and Zora disappears into the vents. When it's just me and Marshall, I start to grow impatient and I wonder if maybe she isn't coming back. Maybe I was worried for nothing. Maybe I was nervous for nothing. Maybe I was happy for nothing.

Marshall sighs and heads back to his office after about five minutes, he says he'll be back in a few. When he turns the corner and it's just me, I let out a loud sigh. A sigh of relief, annoyance, sadness, and desperation. I rub the exhaustion from my eyes and hope that if she does turn up, I don't look too awful. I try to smooth out my hair a bit, which after a while, I let grow back out. I smooth out my black tee shirt and I fiddle with a roll of tape. If she was going to turn up, I would be here for her. Unlike I was three years ago.

I become irritable and restless. I'm ready to give up when I see a flash of black and red whip around the doors. The flash darts down the hall and I hurry after it. I stand outside the doorway and watch her run down the hall. It's her.

I smile a tired smile and walk back to my little velvet chair, which I've been living in for a few days. I sit in the imprint I've left and eventually doze off. When I wake, Tawni, Nico, Grady, Zora, Mel, and Marshall are staring at me with wide smiles. After I wake a little bit, I realize that they're still staring at me and it's creeping me out.

"What?" I ask, my voice is raspy from first waking up and because I haven't used it much in days.

They stare at me and their smiles grow wider.

"WHAT!" I shout, jumping out of my chair a moment before settling back down. After the little crowd dissipates I see there's a tray of frozen yogurt sitting on the table from the baby boom boom sketch, there's decorations all over, and I see the same flash of black, except it's not a flash. It's more like a splotch. And when my eyes adjust to bright florescent lighting of the room, I realize that it's her. With an electric guitar on her back, a leather jacket and leather boots, a red tee shirt that has the word "Believe" written in black across it. She's got black skinny jeans and black makeup and red and black chain necklaces. She's hot and I love it. She's different, but she's got that brilliant smile on her face and her dark eyes are smiling too.

She's Sonny Munroe and I missed her more than I realized.

* * *

**A/n It's been a long while since I've written for SWAC and I was quite disappointed with the end of the series. I like So Random! but it's more annoying than it is funny. I got this idea a while ago while staring out the window on my bus. Anyways, I appreciate reviews *wink. Wink* Recently I've become quite depressed, which makes for better writing, so…Also, if you're a fan of The Hunger Games you should check out my other stories.  
**


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